IT’S OKAY TO BE 30 AND…?

 

            There is a saying that age is just a number but based on personal observation, there has always been a reason especially when women are turning thirty(30). The awkward feeling behind the age connotes to their way of thinking in terms of marriage and starting a family. When that happens, it results to depression, anxiety and irritability. But one would ask; what are the reasons behind the age?Normally, women tend to fit into the normal settings of the society instead of considering themselves first. They often jump into making hasty decisions which at the long run affect their personality.

            Society is suppose to be a safe haven for women to be able to make better decisions for themselves but recently society has created a reflection of unhealthy competition which has resulted in negativity. It is beautiful for society to have people from different cultural background with diverse views and opinions, but ironically, society has created pressures which have resulted rather in the opposite.Most at times, it is women who go through the social pressures because society is highly demanding them to play a certain role at a certain point in time. But if society will recreate its timeline then women will be able to play a significant role as to what society expect from them when the need arises.

              In these recent times, social media has also played a pivotal role in making the age thirty to be a year of summarizing what you have achieved. Social media has created a large space for most people to post about the best aspects of their life. This has not yield any positive results but rather engaged most people in unhealthy competition which at the end has affected their mental development. Most women feel the pressure of wanting to do the normal with their lives but have not gotten to any point.

 

The mess has being created for a long time and it is nothing new but it becomes new every time  a woman get to the age 30. These are some of the areas that affect women the most in the society.

 

SINGLE AT 30

                Since society has already created a normal norm that a woman should get married before thirty, any woman who is single at thirty becomes the hot gossip in town. Some women can decide to remain single not because they have not found the ONE but their personal timeline is different from that of society. If a woman is not in a relationship, her sexuality comes into question, and you know the kind of questions she will be asked. When she decides to focus on her priorities by getting things right, the kind of questions she is faced daily from her family, peers and even co-workers is appalling. If a woman is single by thirty, it doesn’t necessarily mean she has not found the one but she is putting her personal needs first.

 When the social pressures become that intense, some use marriage as a form of escape to get away from the eye of the public. At the long run, some get into abusive relationships, unhappy marriage and their self esteem is always in question. If a woman is thirty and single, the need for her to feel safe is very important and that is to be able to develop in an environment where her contributions becomes valuable to another.

 

SELF EMPLOYED AT 30

                   It is indeed beautiful to see women breaking the glass ceiling in male dominated professions such as engineering, medicine, banking and others. If a woman is single and working, she devotes most of her time to her career, which is, her passion for the job becomes a priority. Through her commitment and dedication, she often becomes financially stable and decides to do something next.

Society again has every loop hole for a woman when she is thirty, self employed and financially stable. Society cannot comprehend with the fact that a woman can achieve the success in the corporate or entrepreneur world. If she becomes successful, she is either coined as bossy, arrogant and attention seeker. If she is confident, she is referred as too loud, outspoken and talkative.

If a woman is successful in terms of wealth she is sometimes accused of sourcing her capital from a man whether single or married. If a woman goes through such ordeal, it affects the developmental growth of the woman.

 

MARRIED BEFORE/AFTER 30

                 When a woman gets married before thirty, before she hits that prime age she must have given birth. If she decides to wait before giving birth then she is creating a doom for herself. In a typical African home, the name calling alone can make some women leave their marital home or commit suicide. The difficulty she goes through at that point in time becomes a heavy burden for her to carry.

 After thirty, if she decides to get married as well, she is already declared infertile because her so called biological clock has expired and she will not be able to produce. If a woman is childless during this stage, she is either characterized as selfish or a witch.

 However, it is the duty of every woman who is about to be thirty years old or above to help educate each other as to how to tackle personal problems when the going gets tougher. It is okay to be thirty and single, It is okay to be thirty and self employed, it is okay to be married whether before or after thirty, it is okay for a woman to be fertile or infertile because in the end every woman has her timeline and remember no one can write your stories perfectly well than yourself.

         In a nut shell, if you feel that turning 30 feels ugly because you have not done anything successful, then consider this, turning 30 is exciting and liberating and it is that moment you discover your true self as to who you really are.